Abandoning Hollywood For Medjugorje

INT. MOUNTAINTOP CHAPEL โ€” MEDJUGORJE โ€” SUNSET

Golden light streams through stained-glass windows as NELLY and JOE kneel side by side. The sound of distant bells mixes with cicadas. Nelly wears a simple linen shawl. Joe is in a borrowed cassock, worn over his jeans. They gaze at a modest statue of the Virgin Mary as the sky turns lavender.

NELLY (whispering)
If I could… I’d leave everything, Joe. Hollywood. Music. Fame. All of it.
I’d become a nun here. And you… youโ€™d be my priest.

JOE (half-smiling)
They donโ€™t usually let priests and nuns marry, Nelly.

NELLY (earnest, eyes wide)
Thatโ€™s why the Vatican wonโ€™t recognize Medjugorje, donโ€™t you see?
Too many miracles. Too much love.
The priests and nuns hereโ€”some of them do marry. Secretly. Sacredly.
Like Christ never wanted us to be alone. Like Eden before the fall.

JOE
You really think Rome fears love?

NELLY
They fear what they canโ€™t control.
But Christendom is dying, Joe. Not from sin.
From emptiness. From not enough children.

JOE (quietly)
From loneliness.

NELLY
Exactly.
I want seven more, Joe.
Not with chemicals or doctors. Not with stress and calendars.
The Hunza way.
Pakistani mountain mothersโ€ฆ they drink glacier water, eat apricots, climb cliffs barefoot at 50, and still have babies.
Because they believe.

JOE
Seven?

NELLY
One for every sorrow of Our Lady.
I want our children to run barefoot through vineyards, praying the rosary, laughing in Croatian.
I want to raise saints, not stars.

JOE (looking at her deeply)
What if weโ€™re excommunicated?

NELLY
Then let Rome keep its gold and crimson.
Weโ€™ll take the incense, the silence, and the sunrise.
Let them keep their walls.
Weโ€™ll build a chapel with our hands, raise our children in the open air,
and love like heaven is watching.

They sit in silence. The sun dips behind the hills. A breeze stirs the chapelโ€™s candles.

JOE
Maybe Medjugorje is the last outpost of Eden.

NELLY (smiling softly)
Then letโ€™s not miss our chance to go back.

The chapel bells ring again. A calling. A choice. The light fades gently to dusk.

Revelation 6 Underground

Nelly watches as the elites build nuclear bunkers on the Vice YouTube channel. She laments, “There goes my career!”

Joe, scrolling through his phone, glances up. “Revelation 6, Nelly. The sixth seal. And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men, and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the caves and in the rocks of the mountains.

Nelly scoffs. “So they really think they can hide from what’s coming?”

Joe shrugs. “They always do. But no bunker can save them from judgment.”

She leans back, exhaling. “I just wanted to make music, Joe.”

He nods. “Then make it. Sing for the ones still up here. Someone’s gotta play while Rome burns.”

Bill Gates and the Furtado Family Feud

Bill Gates sat in his sprawling, high-tech mansion, staring at the news headline on his tablet: “Nelly Furtado and Joe Jukic Plan for a Family of 13.” His jaw clenched as he read the details: Nelly, at her age, had defied convention by having children later in life and now planned to have seven more biological children with Joe. On top of that, the couple intended to adopt three more, bringing their total to thirteen.

“This is madness,” Bill muttered, setting the tablet down with a thud. He paced the room, his mind racing. “Doesnโ€™t she realize the strain this puts on the planet? The carbon footprint of one person is already too much, and they want thirteen?”

He poured himself a glass of sparkling water, trying to calm down, but the thought of such a massive family gnawed at him. He had spent decades advocating for population control through vaccines, healthcare, and education. Yet here was Nelly Furtadoโ€”a global iconโ€”doing the exact opposite.

That evening, Bill called an emergency meeting with his closest advisors.

โ€œWe need to address this,โ€ he said, pacing the conference room. โ€œNelly Furtadoโ€™s decision is reckless. It sends the wrong message to millions of people. If celebrities start having massive families, it undermines everything weโ€™ve worked for.โ€

One advisor hesitated before speaking. โ€œMr. Gates, isnโ€™t it her personal choice? She has the resources to care for a large family.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s not the point!โ€ Bill snapped, slamming his hand on the table. โ€œItโ€™s not just about money. Itโ€™s about sustainability. Thirteen children, biological and adopted, will consume resources, contribute to emissions, and perpetuate overpopulation. This isnโ€™t just personalโ€”itโ€™s political!โ€

Bill decided to write an open letter to Nelly, hoping to appeal to her sense of global responsibility. He spent hours crafting it, carefully laying out the environmental, social, and ethical arguments against her decision.

But before he could send it, he saw Nellyโ€™s response to a journalistโ€™s question about her family plans.

โ€œI believe every child is a blessing,โ€ she had said, smiling serenely. โ€œWhether biological or adopted, they bring joy, hope, and love into the world. Joe and I feel called to build a big family, and we trust in Godโ€™s plan for us. If that makes some people uncomfortable, so be it.โ€

Bill threw his hands up in frustration. โ€œGodโ€™s plan? What about the planetโ€™s plan?โ€

Despite his anger, Bill couldnโ€™t deny a pang of envy as he watched a video of Nelly and Joe surrounded by their growing family. They looked genuinely happy, laughing and playing together. For all his wealth and influence, Bill realized he couldnโ€™t control peopleโ€™s heartsโ€”or their dreams.

As the days passed, Bill reluctantly accepted that Nelly Furtadoโ€™s family plans were beyond his influence. But deep down, he couldnโ€™t shake the feeling that her decision symbolized everything he was trying to prevent.

โ€œThirteen children,โ€ he muttered to himself, shaking his head. โ€œThe planet doesnโ€™t stand a chance.โ€

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