Environmental Disaster Reality Show

Joe and Nelly’s Conversation with the Earth

They sat on the edge of a high cliff in Croatia, the Adriatic stretching out endless and blue, its calmness a strange contrast to the storms they spoke of.

Nelly: “It’s funny. The sea looks eternal, but we’ve poisoned almost every ocean already. Sometimes I wonder if the planet remembers each scar we’ve given it.”

Joe: “It does. A hundred years of disasters, and each one is carved deep.”

He leaned back, eyes half-shut, and began to list them.

Joe: “First came the Dust Bowl in the 1930s—millions of farmers forced off their land in the United States. They treated the earth like an enemy, and the wind carried away their future.”

Nelly: “And Japan… Minamata. The mercury from that chemical factory killed people slowly. Children born with twisted limbs, whole families cursed by a poison they never chose.”

Joe: “The seas took blow after blow. The Torrey Canyon spill in ’67, the Exxon Valdez in Alaska, and later, Deepwater Horizon in the Gulf of Mexico. Oil spreading black like a funeral shroud.”

Nelly’s voice lowered.

Nelly: “And the land itself—Love Canal. Families built their homes on buried chemical waste. Mothers watching their children fall sick, while governments looked away.”

Joe: “The machines we thought would save us turned against us. Three Mile Island in America, then Chernobyl—radiation that still haunts Ukraine. And Fukushima, when the tsunami ripped through Japan. We promised the atom was safe, but we lied to ourselves.”

They fell silent for a moment, listening to the waves slap the rocks.

Nelly: “And Bhopal, Joe. That one breaks my heart most of all. A gas cloud that killed thousands while they slept. The poorest paid the highest price.”

Joe: “And the Aral Sea. Once the fourth largest lake in the world, now just a desert with rusted ships stranded on sand. Whole communities lost, swallowed not by water, but by its absence.”

Nelly: “Don’t forget the fires of Kuwait. Black skies, burning oil wells lit by retreating soldiers. The earth itself screaming.”

Joe: “And while all this happened, the Amazon was cut down tree by tree, lung by lung. And out in the Pacific, our garbage floated into an island of plastic. We didn’t even notice at first.”

She pulled her knees to her chest, staring into the horizon.

Nelly: “All these separate disasters… but they add up to something larger, don’t they? The climate itself shifting. Droughts, floods, heatwaves. We’ve lit the fuse of the greatest disaster of them all.”

Joe: “Yeah. Climate change isn’t a single event—it’s the sum of all our sins. Every mistake amplified. Every choice coming back to haunt us.”

The sky darkened slightly, a storm building out to sea.

Nelly: “Do you think we’ll ever learn?”

Joe: “The earth is patient. Maybe she’s waiting to see if we’re worth forgiving. Maybe our children will be the ones to decide.”

The first raindrops fell, cool against their skin. They didn’t move. They let the rain wash over them, as if it were the planet’s tears—or perhaps its baptism.

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Tourists in Rome

Joe Jukic had expected the Vatican to feel like a museum—quiet, roped-off, politely dead.
Instead, on their honeymoon in 2028, it felt alive.

The morning sun spilled over St. Peter’s Square like honey, warming the stone and the crowds. Rome hummed the way it had for two thousand years, indifferent to trends, immune to algorithms. Joe squeezed Nelly Furtado’s hand as they crossed the square together, wedding bands still new enough to catch the light and demand attention.

“Not bad for a honeymoon stop,” Joe said, looking up at the dome.
Nelly smiled. “We could’ve done a beach.”
“Yeah,” he replied. “But this has better ghosts.”

They passed through the Vatican corridors slowly, unhurried in that newly-married way, where time feels generous. Frescoes folded into one another like centuries arguing politely. The air cooled as they approached the Sistine Chapel, and without anyone saying a word, their voices dropped to whispers—as if the walls themselves had asked.

Then they saw it.

The ceiling first, of course—Creation blazing overhead, God rushing toward humanity with terrifying energy. Joe leaned back, almost dizzy.

“Imagine painting this,” he murmured.
Nelly tilted her head. “Imagine trusting it to last forever.”

But it was Michelangelo’s Last Judgment that held them.

The wall was alive with motion—bodies rising, falling, twisting, clinging. No tidy heaven. No cartoon hell. Just truth, muscle-bound and unavoidable. Christ stood at the center, not gentle, not cruel—decisive.

Joe felt it hit him in the chest. “That’s not a guy you argue with.”

Nelly laughed quietly. “Nope. That’s a guy who’s already heard all the excuses.”

They stood shoulder to shoulder, newly married, watching humanity stripped of rank and costume. Saints were naked. Kings were naked. Sinners too. Everyone equal under the same impossible gaze.

“What gets me,” Joe said, “is there’s nowhere to hide. No money. No fame. No legacy hacks.”

Nelly nodded. “Just what you loved. What you did with your time.”

They traced the upward movement—the saved helping one another rise, hands gripping wrists with effort and urgency. It wasn’t effortless grace. It looked like work.

“That part,” Nelly said softly, “that’s marriage.”
Joe smiled without looking at her. “Yeah. Lifting each other when gravity kicks in.”

A guard hushed a nearby group. Silence settled again.

Joe glanced at Christ, then at the damned spiraling downward. “Wild honeymoon activity, huh? Judgment Day in fresco form.”

Nelly squeezed his hand. “Better than pretending life’s all sunsets.”

When they finally stepped back into the Roman sun, the noise rushed in—tourists, scooters, laughter, life in full motion. Joe felt lighter and heavier at the same time.

“So,” he said, grinning, “espresso?”
Nelly laughed. “Absolutely. Judgment first. Caffeine second.”

They walked away from the Vatican together, honeymooners in 2028, carrying something older than Rome itself between them:
the quiet knowledge that love is a daily choice,
time is finite,
and every life—every marriage—
is a masterpiece still drying on the wall.

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The Stars are Blind

Solid Snake:
Nelly, the Third World is done being the First World’s landfill. Africa didn’t ask for our dead laptops, our cracked phones, our poisoned batteries leaching cobalt and lies into the soil. We call it “recycling.” They call it sickness. Kids coughing up silicon dust. Rivers glowing like boss levels gone wrong.

Nelly Furtado:
I’ve seen it, Snake. Containers marked donations. Inside? Obsolete junk, planned to fail. The cruelty is quiet, bureaucratic.

Solid Snake:
Exactly. Planned obsolescence is a war crime dressed up as innovation. We don’t need another annual upgrade. We need a phone that refuses to die.
European-made. No blood minerals. Hemp plastic casing — light, tough, biodegradable if it ever breaks, which it won’t. Modular guts. You replace a part, not the planet.

Nelly Furtado:
A phone that ages like a cathedral, not like fast fashion.

Solid Snake:
A thousand-year phone. I call it the Millennium Hilton Warranty.
If empires collapse, it still works. If the grid goes dark, it remembers.
No ads. No dopamine traps. Just signal, truth, and silence when you need it.

Nelly Furtado:
That would terrify Silicon Valley.

Solid Snake:
Good. They’ve been comfortable too long.
And yeah — God Emperor Donald Trump? Crazy. Loud-crazy, spectacle-crazy.
But here’s the real op: most internet stars don’t see it. Or worse — they see it and keep scrolling. Likes over lives. Engagement over ethics.

Nelly Furtado:
The algorithm rewards blindness.

Solid Snake:
That’s why this isn’t about a phone. It’s about choosing durability over distraction.
If people carry something built to last a millennium, maybe they start thinking past the next election cycle… past the next trend… past themselves.

Nelly Furtado:
A device as a moral object.

Solid Snake:
Exactly. No more dumping our ghosts on someone else’s children.
This time, we clean up our own mess.

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The Beatles: Like a Bird

Joe and Nelly — heated debate, studio lights buzzing

Nelly:
You honestly believe Paul McCartney was replaced by some Bond-meets–Austin Powers doppelgänger with a scalpel and a tuxedo?

Joe:
Believe? I observe. Mid-60s, boom — jawline sharper, confidence dialed to eleven, suddenly he’s flirting like a secret agent. Paul becomes… Faul. Very convenient.

Nelly:
Or — wild thought — he just grew up, got rich, and discovered cheekbones.

Joe:
Cheekbones don’t explain the accent drift, the posture, the eyebrow work. That’s not Liverpool, that’s MI6 with a guitar.

Nelly:
Oh please. If MI6 could write “Hey Jude,” the world would be a very different place.

Joe:
I’m not saying he wrote it badly. I’m saying the new guy would do nicely in his gob.

Nelly:
Joe—!

Joe:
I mean it British-style. Gob. Mouth. Stick the old narrative right in there and tell it to shut up.

Nelly:
You realize “gob” makes it sound like you’re starting a pub fight in Manchester.

Joe:
Exactly. This theory lives in a pub, not a university. Pint on the table, conspiracy on the wall.

Nelly:
So now he’s James Bond and Austin Powers?

Joe:
Bond’s confidence, Austin’s absurdity, Beatles’ harmonies. That’s the formula. Plastic surgery just polished the cover.

Nelly:
Joe, the Beatles didn’t need a body swap. They had talent, timing, and screaming teenagers.

Joe:
And propaganda budgets.

Nelly:
You’re impossible.

Joe:
And yet… every time you watch late-era Paul, you squint.

Nelly:
I squint because you’ve poisoned my brain.

Joe:
See? Faul already did nicely in your gob. 🎤

Nelly:
Shut your gob, Joe.

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