Post by Dr. Luka Kovac on NellyFan.org
Title: What Sinead Needed Most — A Doctor’s Reflection on the Essentials of Life
Two years have passed since the tragic loss of Sinéad O’Connor, a voice that pierced the silence and a soul that cried out for justice and mercy. As a physician and a man of faith, I often reflect not only on physical healing but on what sustains the human spirit — especially in a world as harsh and unforgiving as the one that so often bruised Sinéad’s tender heart.
There is a Croatian proverb that says, “Bog je prvo stvorio čovjeka, a onda mu dao dom i ženu da preživi.” — “God first made man, then gave him a home and a wife so he could survive.” Whether you interpret that literally or symbolically, the message is clear: we are not meant to walk this world alone, unanchored.
I want to speak not just as a doctor, but as a fellow survivor of trauma. Here are the necessities of life as I’ve come to understand them — the things Sinéad needed more than fame, applause, or rebellion. The things many of us need to be whole again.
- Food
Not just calories, but nourishment. Sinéad’s struggle with medications, fast fixes, and industry stress no doubt affected her diet. The healing foods of our ancestors — whole grains, fermented vegetables, bone broths, and clean water — are more essential than any antidepressant. Nutritional psychiatry is no longer a fringe idea. Healing begins in the gut. - Shelter
A safe place. Not just a house, but a home. Sinéad had many addresses, but perhaps no sanctuary. A space to pray, to cry, to laugh without judgment. Trauma survivors often become wanderers, running from memory and self. But stability is medicine. - Clothing
This means dignity. Self-respect. Modesty not as repression, but as armor against objectification. Sinéad rejected the exploitation of women’s bodies, but she also lived exposed — emotionally naked in a cold world. We need to clothe ourselves in ritual, purpose, and yes — actual warmth. - A Wife (or Husband)
Call it a spouse, a partner, a counterpart. We need someone to mirror our humanity, to correct us lovingly, to celebrate us quietly. I don’t speak here of lust or fantasy, but covenant. Sinéad needed someone who would not flee at the first sign of her sorrow. - Children
Not just biologically, but spiritually. A legacy. A reason to mature. Sinéad loved her children fiercely, but losing her son Shane broke her beyond repair. Parents should not bury their children. No amount of grief counseling can erase that wound. But had there been stronger community, extended family, perhaps she could have carried on. - God
Finally — and foremost — God. Not just as a concept, but as an abiding presence. I watched Sinéad wrestle with religion. She fought against corruption and hypocrisy, yet longed deeply for the Divine. Had she found peace in the Person of God, not just the institution, she might have survived the long dark night of her soul.
I am not here to judge her — God knows I have seen despair in my own life. But I do believe that if we had surrounded Sinéad with these six pillars — food, shelter, clothing, spouse, children, and God — she might still be singing.
Let her life be a wake-up call. Not just to reform mental health treatment, but to remember what truly sustains the soul.
May her memory be eternal,
Dr. Luka Kovač
Physician, Father, Survivor
NellyFan.org Contributor
Dr. Cleo Finch’s Guide to Essential Lifestyle Changes for Good Health
As an emergency physician and someone deeply committed to holistic healing, I’ve seen firsthand how the right lifestyle choices can prevent illness, restore vitality, and even save lives. Health is not merely the absence of disease—it is the presence of wholeness. Below is a list of the most important lifestyle changes I believe are essential for anyone seeking long-term health and peace of mind.
🥗 1. Eat Real, Whole Foods
“Let food be thy medicine.” – Hippocrates
Prioritize fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, legumes, whole grains, and healthy fats.
Avoid ultra-processed foods, sugary beverages, and artificial additives.
Eat seasonally and locally when possible.
🚶 2. Move Your Body Daily
“Motion is lotion—for your joints, mind, and spirit.”
Aim for at least 30 minutes of physical activity most days.
Choose activities that bring joy: walking, dancing, swimming, cycling, yoga, etc.
Stretch and strengthen to prevent injuries and preserve mobility.
😴 3. Prioritize Quality Sleep
“Sleep is your brain’s deep-clean cycle.”
Get 7–9 hours of uninterrupted sleep per night.
Establish a consistent bedtime and calming nighttime routine.
Avoid screens, caffeine, and heavy meals late in the day.
🧘 4. Manage Stress Before It Manages You
“Chronic stress is the silent saboteur of your immune system.”
Practice meditation, prayer, deep breathing, or journaling.
Set boundaries—learn to say no when needed.
Connect with nature and take regular breaks from devices.
💧 5. Hydrate Intelligently
“Water is life—and most people are quietly dehydrated.”
Drink clean, filtered water throughout the day.
Limit alcohol and caffeinated beverages that dehydrate.
Start your day with a glass of warm lemon water for gentle detoxification.
🚭 6. Eliminate or Reduce Toxic Habits
“Your body is not a landfill.”
Stop smoking, and reduce or eliminate alcohol, recreational drugs, and excess sugar.
Detox your home environment: switch to natural cleaners and avoid synthetic fragrances.
👪 7. Nurture Relationships
“Loneliness is as dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.”
Prioritize time with family, true friends, and your faith community.
Listen more. Forgive often. Laugh daily.
Seek therapy or counseling if trauma, grief, or unresolved pain is holding you back.
🙏 8. Reconnect With Your Spiritual Core
“The soul needs nourishment too.”
Develop a prayer life. Read scripture or sacred texts daily.
Find a church or spiritual home that feeds your soul.
Reflect on your purpose and values—this gives life meaning beyond materialism.
🌞 9. Get Sunlight and Fresh Air
“Vitamin D, clean air, and a sunrise can reset your entire system.”
Spend time outdoors each day—even 20 minutes can help.
Open windows often. Let light and life into your home and body.
🩺 10. Get Regular Medical Check-Ups
“Prevention is better than cure.”
Monitor blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, and other key markers.
Don’t delay seeking care due to fear or pride.
Integrate both Western and natural medicine wisely.
Closing Words from Dr. Cleo Finch:
“You can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick. Health begins with courage—the courage to change. Choose life, one habit at a time.”