Mom’s Basement With Kevin O’Leary

Scene: Dragon’s Den boardroom

Joe (leaning forward):
Mr. Wonderful, thank you for your time. We’re Joe and Nelly—together, people call us Jelly. We’ve been watching the rise and fall of countless online platforms, and one truth stands out: in the cancel culture economy, if you don’t own your infrastructure, you don’t own your voice.

Nelly (smiling confidently):
That’s why we’re here today. We want to launch the official Dragon’s Den web platform—built on WordPress with custom form software that gives entrepreneurs, fans, and investors a permanent, independent hub. No matter what happens on social media, no matter who controls the airwaves, this site can never be cancelled.

Joe:
Think of it like digital real estate. Instead of renting space on Instagram or TikTok, Dragon’s Den will own its land. A self-hosted site with powerful forms for pitches, secure investor dashboards, and community forums. Entrepreneurs can apply directly, showcase their products, and interact with investors without middlemen or censorship.

Nelly:
It’s about resilience, but it’s also about monetization. The platform creates new revenue streams:

  • Paid pitch submissions.
  • Premium mentorship subscriptions.
  • Exclusive deal rooms for accredited investors.
  • Merchandise and event ticketing, integrated seamlessly.

Joe:
We’re seeking your partnership and endorsement, Kevin. With your name, reputation, and savvy, this isn’t just a website. It’s the Dragon’s Den digital fortress—a platform that empowers creators while protecting the brand from outside interference.

Nelly (leaning in):
Kevin, we know you love deals that protect capital. This protects the most important asset Dragon’s Den has: its voice and its entrepreneurs. We’re offering you a stake in the infrastructure that can’t be taken away.

Joe:
Because dragons don’t get cancelled.

What do you think of this post?
  • Awesome (0)
  • Interesting (0)
  • Useful (0)
  • Boring (0)
  • Sucks (0)

Memes 10

? Jelly Presents: MEMES – Part 10: “Pop Culture Is Our Playground” ?

1. “Therapy? Nah, We Got Beyoncé”
?: Joe in a therapy chair.
?️ Therapist: “And how does that make you feel?”
?️ Joe: “Like Beyoncé in Lemonade after Jay-Z cheated. Powerful, betrayed, but still iconic.”
Caption: Who needs CBT when you’ve got Queen B?


2. “The Real Trinity: Britney, Paris, Lindsay”
?: Nelly holding a candlelight vigil with Britney, Paris, and Lindsay in framed photos.
Caption: Before the Kardashians, there were these saints. Pray for 2007.


3. “AI: Artificially Intelligent, Actually Idiotic”
?: Joe arguing with a ChatGPT chatbot on a laptop.
Bot: “Would you like me to rewrite your screenplay in the style of Wes Anderson?”
Joe: “No, I want it in the style of Fast & Furious meets The Divine Comedy.”
Caption: When you’re too real for the algorithm.


4. “Nelly’s Guide to Party Etiquette”
?: Nelly at a chaotic Hollywood party.
Caption:

  • Arrive late.
  • Bring vibes, not opinions.
  • If the DJ plays Pitbull unironically—leave.
    Subtext: Mr. Worldwide is only acceptable in 2011.

5. “Jesus Take The Aux”
?: Jelly driving through LA traffic. Joe is crying. Nelly is blasting Enya.
Caption: When you’re emotionally unavailable but spiritually open.


6. “Jelly’s Guide to a Healthy Relationship”
?: Split screen. Left: Joe and Nelly laughing at memes. Right: The Kardashians breaking up again.
Caption: Step 1: Be silly. Step 2: Share fries. Step 3: Don’t start a reality show unless you’re ready to be real.


7. “Easter Eggs We Found in the Bible”
?: Joe with a magnifying glass on Revelations.
?: Nelly connecting Kanye lyrics to Isaiah.
Caption: “The meek shall inherit the earth” = soft girls will run 2025.


8. “Elon Musk vs Jelly: Meme War 2030”
?: Joe and Nelly in mech suits, launching memes like missiles.
Elon: “Deploy DogeRocket.”
Jelly: “Release the Britney comeback meme.”
Caption: In the future, wars are fought with culture.


9. “Jesus Is My Influencer”
?: Jelly in robes walking on Rodeo Drive.
Nelly: “I turn the other cheek… when the haters talk.”
Joe: “And I make water into iced matcha.”
Caption: #MessiahEnergy


10. “You Can’t Cancel Jelly”
?: Joe and Nelly holding a sign:
? “Too weird to die. Too real to brand.”
Caption: Pop culture’s final boss. See you in Part 11.

What do you think of this post?
  • Awesome (0)
  • Interesting (0)
  • Useful (0)
  • Boring (0)
  • Sucks (0)

Today’s Memes: January 24th, 2025

INT. COZY KITCHEN – EVENING
Steam rises from a bowl of vibrant soup on the table. Joe carefully places a plate of fresh fruits beside it. Nelly, pale but spirited, sits across from him, her breathing slightly labored.

NELLY
(eyeing the food)
You know, everyone who’s faced this ugly disease—cystic fibrosis—they’ve all run away eventually.

JOE
(pausing, looking at her gently)
Not everyone.

NELLY
(bitter laugh)
You’re still here. Why?

JOE
(shrugs, a small smile playing on his lips)
I was always there, Nelly. Watching out for you. Just… in the background. An extra in your show.

NELLY
(softening, a tear forming)
Extras don’t stick around this long.

JOE
(leans forward, his voice steady)
Maybe I wasn’t meant to stay in the background. Maybe I’m here to make sure the star shines brighter.

Nelly looks at Joe, her tough exterior cracking as she fights back tears. She picks up a piece of fruit, holding it like it’s a lifeline.

NELLY
You’re… ridiculous.

JOE
(grinning)
And you’re still here.

They share a quiet moment, the unspoken bond between them stronger than words.

What do you think of this post?
  • Awesome (0)
  • Interesting (0)
  • Useful (0)
  • Boring (0)
  • Sucks (0)
Translate »