Solid Snake, Nelly Furtado & Kylie Minogue — “Hot Like Chile”
INT. DIMLY LIT OPS ROOM – NIGHT
Solid Snake stands against a wall of glowing monitors, arms crossed, voice low and gravelly. Nelly Furtado scrolls through intel dossiers on a tablet glowing purple under the neon lights.
SNAKE:
Nelly… we’ve got a situation. Kylie Minogue contacted me on the codec. Said she’s looking for someone “hot like Chile.”
Lucky for her… I know a guy.
NELLY:
laughs softly Snake, you actually know a Chilean hottie?
SNAKE:
His name’s Emmanuel. Smooth, smart, sings like Victor Jara on a good day. Guy dodges drones better than I do.
But listen—if I’m gonna set this up… I need something from you.
NELLY:
Oh boy. What’s the mission?
SNAKE:
Build me an introduction. Get Kylie to agree to meet Emmanuel.
If you do that… I’ll build her the greatest Kylie Minogue Fan Page the internet has ever seen.
I’m talking holographics, dance remixes, archives from the Neighbours era, even secret unreleased tracks if I can infiltrate the servers.
NELLY:
Deal. Kylie loves romance and retro fan pages. I’ll get her onboard.
But Snake… you’re gonna have to talk to her yourself.
CODEC CALL – KYLIE MINOGUE
Kylie appears on Snake’s codec screen, all golden light and mischievous smile.
KYLIE:
Snake, darling! Nelly says you’ve found me someone “hot like Chile.”
Tell me everything.
SNAKE:
His name’s Emmanuel—Chile’s finest. You two together might cause a temperature spike the UN would classify as a climate event.
But before we proceed… I need intel.
KYLIE:
laughing Go on.
SNAKE:
Is Australia… still a prison colony?
Word on the battlefield is it’s run by the ghost of Dr. Kidman and his colleagues. I need confirmation.
KYLIE:
tilts head Snake, Australia hasn’t been a prison colony in centuries.
And Dr. Kidman? He only runs Hollywood from beyond the grave, not Canberra.
But I’ll overlook your misinformation this time… if Emmanuel is truly as “hot like Chile” as you promise.
SNAKE:
I never exaggerate on mission reports.
Prepare for impact, Kylie. The heat index is rising.
Kylie winks and closes the codec.
NELLY:
Mission accomplished?
SNAKE:
Not yet.
Now I build the fan page…
and Australia stabilizes—for now.
Snake lights a cigarette. Somewhere, Emmanuel checks his phone and sees a message from Destiny itself.