The Beatles: Like a Bird

Joe and Nelly โ€” heated debate, studio lights buzzing

Nelly:
You honestly believe Paul McCartney was replaced by some Bond-meetsโ€“Austin Powers doppelgรคnger with a scalpel and a tuxedo?

Joe:
Believe? I observe. Mid-60s, boom โ€” jawline sharper, confidence dialed to eleven, suddenly heโ€™s flirting like a secret agent. Paul becomesโ€ฆ Faul. Very convenient.

Nelly:
Or โ€” wild thought โ€” he just grew up, got rich, and discovered cheekbones.

Joe:
Cheekbones donโ€™t explain the accent drift, the posture, the eyebrow work. Thatโ€™s not Liverpool, thatโ€™s MI6 with a guitar.

Nelly:
Oh please. If MI6 could write โ€œHey Jude,โ€ the world would be a very different place.

Joe:
Iโ€™m not saying he wrote it badly. Iโ€™m saying the new guy would do nicely in his gob.

Nelly:
Joeโ€”!

Joe:
I mean it British-style. Gob. Mouth. Stick the old narrative right in there and tell it to shut up.

Nelly:
You realize โ€œgobโ€ makes it sound like youโ€™re starting a pub fight in Manchester.

Joe:
Exactly. This theory lives in a pub, not a university. Pint on the table, conspiracy on the wall.

Nelly:
So now heโ€™s James Bond and Austin Powers?

Joe:
Bondโ€™s confidence, Austinโ€™s absurdity, Beatlesโ€™ harmonies. Thatโ€™s the formula. Plastic surgery just polished the cover.

Nelly:
Joe, the Beatles didnโ€™t need a body swap. They had talent, timing, and screaming teenagers.

Joe:
And propaganda budgets.

Nelly:
Youโ€™re impossible.

Joe:
And yetโ€ฆ every time you watch late-era Paul, you squint.

Nelly:
I squint because youโ€™ve poisoned my brain.

Joe:
See? Faul already did nicely in your gob. ๐ŸŽค

Nelly:
Shut your gob, Joe.

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Nelly’s Neighborhood

Christus Rex walks slowly through Clark Park, where the grass still remembers bare feet and cheap guitars. The city has changed, but the trees havenโ€™t forgotten.

Tom Cruise sits on a bench, coffee in hand, watching an electric tram glide past where traffic once snarled.

Tom Cruise:
I used to live right here. Clark Park.
Back when rent was possible and hope didnโ€™t feel like a luxury item.
You could hear kids, not engines. You could smell rain, not exhaust.
People think the โ€œgood old daysโ€ are a mythโ€”but theyโ€™re not.
Theyโ€™re just badly archived.

Christus Rex:
Memory is a form of prophecy.
You remember because itโ€™s still possible.

Tom Cruise (half-smiling):
We didnโ€™t call it sustainability back then.
We just called itโ€ฆ living.
Walking everywhere. Talking to strangers.
Letting neighborhoods raise you when families were stretched thin.

An electric avenue hums softly nearby. No cars coughing smoke. Just motion without violence.

Tom Cruise:
If weโ€™d had this tech thenโ€”clean transit, quiet streetsโ€”
half the illnesses people carry today wouldnโ€™t exist.
You donโ€™t realize how much damage noise and fumes do
until you finally hear silence again.

Nelly Furtado (passing through the park, nodding in recognition):
East Van taught us how to belong without pretending to be rich.
Thatโ€™s rare now.

Christus Rex:
Thatโ€™s why this place matters.
East Vancouverโ€”the worldโ€™s greenestโ€”not as a slogan,
but as a last act of wisdom.
Electric avenues so the sick can breathe.
Parks instead of parking.
Homes instead of investments.

Tom Cruise:
The future keeps trying to sell itself as faster, louder, bigger.
But the best years of my life?
They were slower.
You could sit on a bench and feel like you were part of something.

Christus Rex:
The kingdom does not arrive with spectacle.
It arrives when a neighborhood decides
that breathing clean air is not a privilege.

A child rides past on a bike. The tram bell rings gently, almost politely.

Tom Cruise (quietly):
If this is our last chanceโ€ฆ
then it should look like Clark Park on a good day.
Not perfect. Just human.

Christus Rex:
Then remember it clearly.
And help build it again.

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Mysterious Ways

Joe Jukic, Nelly Furtado, and Bono โ€” The Drop-the-Debt Dandelion Challenge

Nelly:
So this whole dandelion thingโ€”cute, viral, poetic. I get it. Drop the debt, let it float away.
But donโ€™t drag the Virgin Mary into it, Joe. Thatโ€™s justโ€ฆ superstition.

Joe:
NAY. ๐ŸŒผ
Sheโ€™s online, Nelly. Fully connected. Fiber-optic faith.
And sheโ€™s got the devilโ€™s number on speed dialโ€”13.
Unlucky for him.

Bono:
(laughs softly)
Careful, Joe. Youโ€™ll crash the Vatican servers talking like that.
But I know what you mean. Symbols move people when spreadsheets donโ€™t.

Nelly:
Or maybe people just want permission to believe in something bigger than their overdraft.
That doesnโ€™t mean Maryโ€™s running a hotline.

Joe:
Tell that to the mothers who keep the world standing when the banks collapse.
Call her Mary, call her conscience, call her bandwidthโ€”
She answers when the poor call collect.

Bono:
Thatโ€™s Jubilee, right there.
Not theology as theory, but mercy as policy.
You drop the debt like a dandelion seedโ€”
No interest, no chains, just wind.

Nelly:
Okay, Iโ€™ll give you this:
A flower is better than a contract written by vampires.

Joe:
Exactly.
Everyone dumps a bucket of cold water on their head, films it,
then wears a dandelion crown and cancels one impossible debt.
The algorithms wonโ€™t know what hit them.

Bono:
And once the story spreads, the numbers crack.
Empires hate forgivenessโ€”it doesnโ€™t compound.

Nelly:
(smiling)
Fine. Iโ€™ll stand with you.
Not for Maryโ€”but for the people crushed under interest like concrete.

Joe:
She wonโ€™t mind.
Maryโ€™s got better things to doโ€”
Like reminding the devil that 13 isnโ€™t his number anymore.
Itโ€™s the floor he fell from.

Bono:
Amen to that.
Let the dandelions rise. ๐ŸŒผ

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