[Scene: Virtual moon base. A glowing futuristic soup stand labeled โAPOLLO MED BEDS โ NO CHIT-CHAT, NO DEALS.โ Joe stands behind the counter in a crisp white uniform with a dramatic mustache prop. Nellyโs next to him, arms crossed, smirking. Trump approaches in his signature suit and red tie, looking impatient.]
Trump: (leaning in, gesturing big) Joe, Nellyโtremendous to see you. Beautiful setup here on the moon. Very high-tech. I hear my health is fading a littleโfake news says itโs bad, but believe me, itโs not that bad. But these Space Force generals and admirals? They wonโt hand over the Apollo healing program med beds unless I heal everybody for free. Ridiculous! Iโm ready to make a deal. A beautiful deal. The best deal.
Joe: (stern, pointing sharply) No talking! Step forward. State your order. One med bed? Point to it. Pay the price: free healing for the people. No negotiations. Move left!
Trump: (blinking) Wait a second. Free healing? For everybody? Thatโs socialism! Iโm talking about a win-win. I get the bed, I feel fantasticโbetter than ever, folks say I look 30โand then maybe later we trickle down some youth serum. Tremendous plan.
Nelly: (rolling her eyes, leaning on the counter) Oh, please. Weโve heard the pitch. The Admirals wonโt budge. You want immortality tech? You heal the masses first. No shortcuts. No Art of the Deal loopholes.
Trump: (waving hand) Nelly, sweetheart, youโre tough. I like tough. But listenโIโm the one who created the Space Force! Me! I can get those generals on the phone right now. Weโll make immortality great again. For me first, obviously. Then everybody else. Itโs called sequencing.
Joe: (voice rising, finger snap ready) Sequencing? No! Rules are rules! You think you can waltz in here and bargain? This isnโt Mar-a-Lago! I am the Immortality Nazi! One wrong word…
Trump: (leaning closer, lowering voice) Come on, Joe. Between usโNelly tooโyou two seem like smart people. Vancouver vibes, right? Rainy, polite. Letโs cut a side deal. Iโll throw in some NFTs. Golden Trump med bed commemoratives. Huge value.
Nelly: (laughing) NFTs? For eternal life? Nice try.
Joe: (dramatic pause, eyes narrowing) You broke the rules. You chit-chatted. You negotiated!
Trump: (hands up) Hold on! Iโm Donald J. Trump! I donโt break rulesโI make them!
Joe & Nelly: (in unison, pointing dramatically) NO IMMORTALITY FOR YOU!!!
[A holographic med bed pod slides away with a dramatic whoosh. Trumpโs handed a tiny glowing โdeposit refundโ token that fizzles out.]
Trump: (stunned, stepping back) This is rigged! Totally rigged! Iโll be back in one yearโstronger, younger, believe me!
Nelly: (calling after him) One year! And bring proof of free healingโor no soupโer, no immortalityโnext time!
Joe: (smirking at Nelly) Classic. Works every time.
Nelly: (grinning) Your turn to pick the next virtual stop, Joe. Paris? Tokyo? Or do we chase Trump to Argentina where the original Soup Nazi retired?
Trump: (fading into the hologram distance, yelling) Youโll regret this! The med beds will be mine! Tremendous comeback coming!
[Fade out on Joe and Nelly high-fiving behind the stand, virtual moon glowing behind them.]

