Joe stood in front of the small crowd in Vancouver’s community hall, hands open like he was calming a storm.
“Relax, everybody,” Joe said. “No one is going to take your religion away, and nobody is forcing you to drink Kool-Aid. This is Vancouver. You can walk down the street and find a church, a mosque, a temple, a synagogue—whatever you believe in. Freedom of religion is the deal here.”
A few people laughed nervously.
Joe shrugged. “This city has places of worship for everybody. Catholics, Buddhists, Sikhs, Muslims, Jews, Hindus. Nobody’s coming for your soul. That’s between you and God.”
From the back of the room, Tom Cruise raised his hand with a grin.
“Well that’s a relief,” Tom said. “Because I love Scientology.”
The room turned.
Tom continued proudly, “Scientology calls itself the science of knowing. For me it’s about understanding the mind and spirit. So it’s nice to hear nobody’s planning to outlaw it.”
Joe nodded.
“Exactly,” Joe said. “That’s the whole point. In a free country people believe different things. Some read the Bible, some read the Quran, some study Buddha, and some follow L. Ron Hubbard. That’s freedom.”
Tom chuckled. “Good. Because I wasn’t planning on giving it up.”
Joe laughed with the crowd.
“Don’t worry, Tom,” he said. “In Vancouver there’s room for everybody’s path to heaven… or enlightenment… or whatever you want to call it.”
- JUDAISM.
- CHRISTIANITY.
- ISLAM.
- HINDUISM.
- BUDDHISM.
- SIKHISM.
- ANIMISM.
- SCIENTOLOGY
- RASTAFARI
- SUBGENIUS
- DISCORDIA
- FLYING SPAGHETTI
- SATANISM
- JEDI
Joe leans back and shrugs.
“Look, in a free place like Canada, you can believe what you want. If someone wants to worship God, Buddha, nothing at all—or even Satan—that’s their right. Nobody’s forcing Kool-Aid down your throat.”
He pauses and smiles a little.
“But like the Qur’an basically says—why would you worship someone who is your enemy?”
Joe taps the table.
“In Islam, Satan—Iblis—is the one who deceives people, tricks them, and tries to lead them away from God. So the idea is simple: why follow the guy who openly admits he wants to ruin you?”
Joe laughs.
“That’s like cheering for the team that’s trying to destroy your own house.”
He shrugs again.
“Freedom means you can choose whatever path you want. But wisdom means choosing the one that actually wants the best for you.”

