Dubya Dubya Dubya

Title: “The Dubya Web”

Scene:
A dimly lit East Van café where Joe, Nelly, and a surprisingly relaxed George W. Bush sit with their laptops open, sipping espressos.


GEORGE BUSH:
Now, I just want y’all to remember something important: I, not Al Gore, invented the Internets.

NELLY:
(laughs) The Internets? You mean the Internet, right?

GEORGE BUSH:
No, ma’am. I said Internets. Plural. The proof’s in the Dubya’s — W. W. W. You can’t spell the World Wide Web without me!

JOE:
(chuckling) You got a point there, Dubya.

NELLY:
So all this time, it was you behind the web? Not some mysterious coder in California?

GEORGE BUSH:
That’s right, Miss Furtado. When I hit “connect,” the whole world started talkin’.

JOE:
Yeah, well, I got my own version of WWW.

NELLY:
Oh no, here we go. What’s your version, Joe?

JOE:
Wait. Work. And… uh… wonder.

NELLY:
(smiling) Wonder, huh?

JOE:
Yeah. Ever since you sang “Wait for You,” I’ve been doing just that — waiting, working, and wondering… with my Portuguese neighbors down in East Van.

GEORGE BUSH:
Well, son, sounds like you’re runnin’ your own kind of foreign policy.

NELLY:
(laughing) Careful, Joe — don’t get sanctioned.

GEORGE BUSH:
He’s fine, Miss Furtado. He’s just followin’ the Bush Doctrine of perseverance: keep waitin’, keep workin’, and maybe one day the mission’ll be accomplished.


Narrator:
And with that, the three log off — Dubya smiling proudly at his reflection in the laptop screen, the original creator of the “Dubya Dubya Dubya.”

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Yugo Joe

Forget any of this happened. Stay away from people like me.

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