Nelly scrolls through her phone and laughs.
“Joe, you see this? The Kardashians—these Americanos—are begging for reality show competition. They’re bored down there. That’s why I endorsed **Kim Kardashian’s **Skims clothing line. You have to get their attention somehow.”
Joe raises an eyebrow.
“Competition?” he says. “Nelly, those people live in billion-dollar mansions in **Los Angeles. I’m not living in no palace like that.”
Nelly smirks. “So what’s your dream then, Prime Minister Joe?”
Joe points out the window toward the neighborhoods of **Vancouver.
“My dream is simple. I want every Canadian to have that old-school dream—the **Vancouver Special. You know, the classic 1970s house. Two floors, mom and dad upstairs, maybe the grandparents downstairs. A little yard. A place for a barbecue.”
Nelly laughs.
“So instead of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, you want Keeping Up with the Canadians?”
Joe nods.
“Exactly. No gold-plated sinks. No 40-car garages. Just a decent house, a garden, and enough money left over so people aren’t drowning in debt. That’s the real reality show.”
Nelly grins.
“Well Joe, if that’s the show… the Kardashians might actually have some real competition.”
Scene: Joe and Nelly’s Reality Show – “The Neighborhood”
Arnold Schwarzenegger shows up at Joe and Nelly’s place with a suitcase and that famous grin.
Arnold:
“Joe! Nelly! I have a proposal. Los Angeles is rebuilding and preparing for the Olympics, and I thought… why not spend some time as your neighbor on the reality show? I’ll help with the garden, lift some weights, maybe fix a few things around the house.”
He flexes his arm.
Arnold:
“Besides, I like the idea of the simple life. No Hollywood drama. Just neighbors.”
Nelly Furtado laughs.
Nelly:
“Arnold, this isn’t a Beverly Hills mansion. Joe wants the old Vancouver dream — the little 1970s Vancouver Special house, not a Hollywood palace.”
Joe nods.
Joe:
“That’s right. Every Canadian deserves that classic house. No Kardashian palace living here.”
Arnold looks impressed.
Arnold:
“Good! I was governor, but I grew up in a small Austrian village. I like normal neighborhoods. Also… if the city of Los Angeles is rebuilding for the Olympics, I might as well spend my off-time somewhere sane.”
The narrator explains that the 2028 Summer Olympics are being used as a chance for the city to improve infrastructure and recover from disasters like wildfires, with leaders hoping the event helps revitalize neighborhoods before the world arrives.
Arnold picks up a rake in the yard.
Arnold:
“Joe, Nelly… tell the cameras the truth. The Terminator has retired. Now I’m just the neighbor who helps with compost and barbecues.”
Joe whispers to the camera:
“Yeah… but if the robots attack, we’re keeping Arnold.”
Arnold turns and smiles.
Arnold:
“I’ll be back… next door.”
Scene: Joe and Nelly’s Reality Show – “The Neighborhood”
Joe is walking with Arnold Schwarzenegger down the quiet street.
Joe:
“Arnold, if you’re really going to live like a normal neighbor for a while, I’ve got good news. One block from **Tom Cruise’s old place there’s a Lutheran church.”
Arnold raises an eyebrow.
Arnold:
“A Lutheran church? That reminds me of home. Austria is full of old churches like that.”
Joe nods.
Joe:
“Exactly. If Hollywood gets too weird for you, you can walk one block, sit down, and hear a sermon instead of a movie pitch.”
Nelly laughs.
Nelly:
“Joe’s solution to every problem in show business is simple: go to church, plant a garden, and stop pretending you’re saving the world in a movie.”
Arnold chuckles.
Arnold:
“You know, after playing the Terminator and being the governor of California, that actually sounds pretty relaxing.”
Joe looks straight at the camera.
Joe:
“See? Even the Terminator needs a quiet neighborhood and a church down the street.”
Arnold smiles and delivers the line everyone expects:
Arnold:
“I’ll be back… Sunday morning.” ⛪💪