[Scene: A crowded, rickety Vancouver city bus barreling down the street. The passengers look panicked until Kramer, standing at the front in his classic wild stance, grips the rail like a captain at sea.]
Kramer: (waving his arms) Alright, alright, settle down! The bus is no longer out of control… because I took charge. That’s right, I’m the driver, the conductor, the maestro of mass transit!
Nelly: (wide-eyed) Maestro? Kramer, you don’t even have a license.
Joe: (half-grinning) He doesn’t need one. He’s Kramer.
Kramer: (nodding rapidly) Exactly! Now listen—if you two wanna win those Canadian votes, you gotta do what’s never been done before. You gotta ride this bus and sing—sing loud, sing proud—THE WHO’s “Magic Bus!”
[He slaps the steering wheel dramatically.]
Kramer: And when the chorus hits… you two—(points at Nelly and Joe)—you lean into that bus camera, and you kiss. That’s democracy, baby! Nothing sells like passion on public transit.
Nelly: (laughing nervously) Wait—you’re saying… our campaign strategy is karaoke and a kiss?
Kramer: (eyes darting wildly) Not just karaoke… it’s The Who! The gods of rock, the sound of rebellion! The people will see it, they’ll feel it, and they’ll say, “Those two—they’re the real deal.”
Joe: (smirking at Nelly) Well… we do want those Canadian votes.
Kramer: (leaning in, whispering with reverence) Trust the Grand Architect. He built the bus, he built the road, he built the whole crazy system we’re ridin’ on. You just gotta believe.
[The bus lurches, passengers scream, but Kramer steadies it like a man possessed. He thrusts a microphone from nowhere into Nelly’s hands.]
Kramer: Now! Take it away! “MAGIC BUS!”