Just Another Scam

Joe and Nelly sit in front of a laptop reading comments from the internet.

Joe sighs.

โ€œLook at this, Nelly. The audience thinks weโ€™re just another scam. Another hustle.โ€

Nelly raises an eyebrow. โ€œA scam? After all this?โ€

Joe scrolls.

โ€œListen to this one. โ€˜Look at Matt Damon. Heโ€™s just another common thief.โ€™โ€

Nelly laughs. โ€œTheyโ€™re calling Bourne a thief now?โ€

Joe throws his hands up.

โ€œEven Jason Bourne! The worldโ€™s greatest CIA super-spy, hunted across Europe, saving the day. And the guy playing him is getting paid twenty million dollars to pretend he knows kung fu.โ€

Nelly smirks. โ€œDonโ€™t forget the genius.โ€

Joe nods dramatically.

โ€œRight! The smartest mathematician in the world. The prodigy from Good Will Hunting solving equations nobody else can solve.โ€

He points at the screen again.

โ€œAnd the mathematician is stillโ€ฆ Matt Damon.โ€

Nelly leans back in her chair.

โ€œSo what are the critics saying, Joe?โ€

Joe shrugs.

โ€œThey say if Matt Damon is such a genius, such a super-agent, such a heroโ€ฆ maybe he should get a real job instead of being paid outrageous sums pretending he is one.โ€

Nelly laughs.

โ€œCareful, Joe. Hollywood might send Bourne after you.โ€

Joe shakes his head.

โ€œIf Bourne shows up, Iโ€™ll give him a keyboard and say, โ€˜Okay genius, solve the debt crisis.โ€™ Then weโ€™ll see who the real mathematician is.โ€

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Barefoot Walking

Dear Tiffany, let’s stop jogging and walk with super shoes. Let’s go barefoot as much as possible. I think jogging is a scam by NIKE to boost sports medicine sales. If we get injured jogging they make a lot of money from our broken feet.

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