The Money Stinks

Joe and Nelly sit in a quiet studio after a long day. Old speakers hum softly. Joe pulls up a famous scene from Scarface on the screen.

On the screen, Tony Montana tries to hand his mother a pile of cash. She looks at it with disgust and refuses.

Joe pauses the movie.

Joe:
โ€œSee that, Nelly? Tony conquered the whole worldโ€ฆ but his own mother wouldnโ€™t touch his money. Why? Because money stinks when it comes from the wrong place.โ€

Nelly sighs and leans back in her chair.

Nelly:
โ€œYouโ€™re talking about Promiscuous and Maneater, arenโ€™t you?โ€

Joe:
โ€œYeahโ€ฆ Promiscuous, Maneaterโ€ฆ money stinks sometimes. If it teaches the wrong lessons to kids.โ€

He shrugs.

Joe:
โ€œBut if you want to make clean money and be a good role model to the youthโ€ฆ Iโ€™m in.โ€

Nelly laughs a little, but thereโ€™s sadness behind it.

Nelly:
โ€œJoeโ€ฆ I got love-bombed. The narcissistic husband blew all the money anyway.โ€

Joe grins and claps his hands once.

Joe:
โ€œThatโ€™s a blessing in disguise!โ€

Nelly raises an eyebrow.

Nelly:
โ€œA blessing?โ€

Joe:
โ€œYeah. Now we can start over. Honest money. Like good Christians.โ€

He points back at the paused scene.

Joe:
โ€œNo more Tony Montana money. Just honest work.โ€

Nelly thinks for a moment.

Nelly:
โ€œYouโ€™re serious about this?โ€

Joe:
โ€œDead serious.โ€

Joe leans back and smiles.

Joe:
โ€œYou know who I always envied?โ€

Nelly:
โ€œWho?โ€

Joe:
โ€œKirk Cameron. Big family, strong faith, wholesome life.โ€

Nelly laughs.

Nelly:
โ€œThatโ€™s your dream?โ€

Joe nods.

Joe:
โ€œYeah. I want a relationship like Captain Kirkโ€ฆ loyal crew, strong mission, exploring the universe together.โ€

Nelly smirks.

Nelly:
โ€œCaptain Kirk had a lot of girlfriends, Joe.โ€

Joe shrugs.

Joe:
โ€œOkayโ€ฆ maybe not that part. I mean the leadership, the adventure, the loyalty.โ€

Nelly folds her arms, smiling now.

Nelly:
โ€œSo whatโ€™s the new mission, Captain?โ€

Joe points upward like a starship commander.

Joe:
โ€œMission: make honest moneyโ€ฆ inspire the kidsโ€ฆ and boldly go where no pop star has gone before.โ€

Nelly laughs.

Nelly:
โ€œAlright, Captain. Letโ€™s see if this clean-money galaxy works out.โ€ ๐Ÿš€โœจ

What do you think of this post?
  • Awesome (0)
  • Interesting (0)
  • Useful (0)
  • Boring (0)
  • Sucks (0)
Joe Canuck

Training, huh? Why don't we leave our weapons behind? Make it really educational.

4 Replies to “The Money Stinks”

  1. Mike says, โ€œJoe, people think I never got that date with Lisa Furtado because I chickened out, but thatโ€™s not what happened.โ€

    Joe says, โ€œYeah, the truth is the meeting never even happened.โ€

    Mike nods. โ€œExactly. It was supposed to be a summit between two detective teams.โ€

    Joe laughs. โ€œThe Hardy Boys division.โ€

    Mike adds, โ€œWhich was us, two bookworms raised on The Hardy Boys.โ€

    Joe says, โ€œVersus the Furtado sisters, the Nancy Drew division.โ€

    Mike nods. โ€œExperts in Nancy Drew mysteries.โ€

    Joe grins. โ€œA historic crossover.โ€

    Mike continues, โ€œThe plan was simple. We were going to travel to Victoria, meet the Furtado sisters, and hold our summit at the legendary Robin Hood Motel.โ€

    Joe says, โ€œA neutral meeting ground for the greatest teenage detectives on Vancouver Island.โ€

    Mike sighs. โ€œBut then the whole operation was mysteriously cancelled.โ€

    Joe nods slowly. โ€œAnd the cancellation came from one man.โ€

    Mike says, โ€œJoseph Coelho.โ€

    Joe says, โ€œWho we later realized was basically the Portuguese mafia gatekeeper.โ€

    Mike throws his hands up. โ€œSo the mission was aborted before the Hardy Boys could even board the ferry to Victoria.โ€

    Joe laughs. โ€œThe Nancy Drew summit never happened.โ€

    Mike sighs. โ€œCase closed before the investigation even started.โ€

    Joe says, โ€œWhich means technically we never lost.โ€

    Mike nods proudly. โ€œCorrect. The Hardy Boys were prevented from attending by outside interference.โ€

    Joe grins. โ€œThanks to Joseph Coelho.โ€

    Mike shakes his head and says, โ€œThe greatest unsolved mystery of our youthโ€ฆ The Case of the Cancelled Victoria Summit.โ€ ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ˜„

    Mike: Joeโ€ฆ life is shit. Weโ€™re hitting 50. No wife, no kids. Just you making those pages and me working like a mule. Whatโ€™s the point?

    Joe: Come on, Mike. Donโ€™t start with that again.

    Mike: Iโ€™m serious. Shut down your shitty pages, Joe. Nobody listens anyway. The worldโ€™s a circus. Let Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump nuke each other and end this stupid reality show called Earth.

    Joe: Thatโ€™s dark even for you.

    Mike: I mean it. Every year itโ€™s worse. Prices up, wars everywhere, everyone yelling on the internet. No happy ending. No family. Nothing.

    Joe: You sound like youโ€™ve already buried yourself.

    Mike: What hope is there? No Ronald Reagan moment where the swords get turned into plowshares. Just more missiles.

    Joe: Reagan talked about that because he believed people could change the direction of the world.

    Mike: Yeah? Look around. Doesnโ€™t seem like it.

    Joe: Maybe the worldโ€™s crazy, but that doesnโ€™t mean you quit. The point isnโ€™t fixing the whole planet. The point is not turning into the thing you hate.

    Mike: Easy for you to say.

    Joe: No. Itโ€™s not easy. But giving up is worse. If the world really is a bad reality show, then at least we donโ€™t have to play the villains.

    Mike: So what are we supposed to do?

    Joe: Same thing people always did in bad timesโ€”stay decent, keep building something, even if itโ€™s small. Otherwise the nukes win before theyโ€™re even launched.

  2. Tony Demelo: โ€œLook, I was the one who invited you Jukic brothers to Victoria. Nelly wanted to meet the boy who held her hand when she was getting bullied.โ€

    Joe: โ€œThen why did it all fall apart?โ€

    Tony: โ€œYou donโ€™t know Joseph Coelhoโ€™s story. His old man treated him real bad. Sometimes people carry that poison around.โ€

    Joe: โ€œYeahโ€ฆ like that movie The Butterfly Effect. One bad childhood can echo for years.โ€

    Tony: โ€œExactly. Doesnโ€™t excuse what people do. But sometimes it explains why they do it.โ€

  3. Tony DeMelo:
    โ€œJoe, back in high school everyone thought the world belonged to guys like Tony Montana from Scarface. Fast money, flashy suits, piles of cash. But I knew that wasnโ€™t real life. That road ends bad. So I kept my hands dirty instead โ€” construction, labor, whatever paid honest.โ€

    Joe:
    โ€œDirty handsโ€ฆ clean money.โ€

    Tony:
    โ€œExactly. When you earn it the hard way, nobody can take your pride. I sleep at night.โ€

    Tony shrugs.

    Tony:
    โ€œBut relationshipsโ€ฆ thatโ€™s another story. Iโ€™ve been with two Croatian girls. Both of them messed around on me. Makes a guy wonder if heโ€™s striking out for good.โ€

    Joe laughs and pats him on the shoulder.

    Joe:
    โ€œCome on, Tony. Baseball rules, my friend. First two times at bat you strike outโ€ฆ so what? That just means youโ€™re due.โ€

    Tony raises an eyebrow.

    Tony:
    โ€œDue for what?โ€

    Joe (grinning):
    โ€œYour third time at batโ€ฆ thatโ€™s the home run.โ€ โšพ

    Tony chuckles.

    Tony:
    โ€œWell if thatโ€™s the case, Iโ€™ll keep swinging.โ€

  4. Annie leans across the table and looks at Tony.

    โ€œTonyโ€ฆ relax. Be patient,โ€ she says calmly. โ€œYouโ€™re acting like you still have to grind yourself to death in the industrial zone.โ€

    Tony sighs. โ€œThatโ€™s the life I know, Annie. Dirty hands job, ten hours a day. Thatโ€™s how you make clean money.โ€

    Joe smiles. โ€œNothing wrong with clean money, Tony. But you donโ€™t have to die on the factory floor either.โ€

    Annie nods and gestures toward Joe.

    โ€œExactly. Look around. The reality-show pages are already built. The concept is done. The characters are here. The hard work is already finished.โ€

    Tony raises an eyebrow. โ€œSo whatโ€ฆ we just wait?โ€

    Joe laughs.

    โ€œNot just wait. Let the engine run. The platformโ€™s built. Stories, dialogue, characters โ€” all of it. We keep adding episodes and let the audience discover it.โ€

    Tony shakes his head slowly.

    โ€œYouโ€™re telling me I donโ€™t have to slave away in the industrial zone until Iโ€™m seventy?โ€

    Joe leans back.

    โ€œThatโ€™s the idea. I gave you guys a retirement plan.โ€

    Annie smiles.

    โ€œThink about it, Tony. Instead of destroying your body for a paycheckโ€ฆ we build stories, we build a show, we build something people actually want to watch.โ€

    Tony finally cracks a grin.

    โ€œSo Joeโ€™s retirement plan isโ€ฆ telling stories?โ€

    Joe shrugs.

    โ€œStories, truth, and a little bit of entertainment. Thatโ€™s how every reality show works anyway.โ€

    Annie laughs.

    โ€œSee Tony? The work is already done. Now the only thing leftโ€ฆโ€

    She raises her coffee.

    โ€œโ€ฆis patience.โ€

Leave a Reply to Mike Jukic Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 512 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video, document, spreadsheet, interactive, text, archive, code, other. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Translate ยป