Joe & Nelly — “Semper Liber”
JOE: Nelly… I have a confession.
NELLY: That tone never leads anywhere normal.
JOE: I stole my brother Michael’s legacy.
NELLY: …You borrowed his jacket again?
JOE: No, no. Bigger. Metaphysical theft.
NELLY: Of course.
JOE: You see… I am actually Fallen Angel Michael… from the Pleiadian galaxy.
NELLY: The Pleiadian galaxy isn’t even—
JOE: Details. Earth people are obsessed with details.
NELLY: And what exactly is your mission, “Angel Michael”?
JOE: To roam this primitive blue planet dispensing unsolicited wisdom, questionable philosophy, and discount salvation.
NELLY: Sounds underfunded.
JOE: Very. Celestial budget cuts.
NELLY: So why “fallen”?
JOE: Paperwork dispute. I asked Heaven for independent contractor status.
NELLY: You got fired from eternity?
JOE: Semper Liber, Nelly. Always free.
NELLY: That sounds suspiciously like something a guy says after forgetting to pay rent.
JOE: Freedom is expensive.
NELLY: And your love?
JOE: Always free. No subscription model. No hidden fees. No deluxe premium angel tier.
NELLY: Impressive. Most modern messiahs have merch.
JOE: I had merch once.
NELLY: What happened?
JOE: Customs seized it at the Orion checkpoint.
NELLY: Convenient.
JOE: Believe me or don’t. That’s the beauty of Earth. Everybody gets a vote.
NELLY: And if I don’t believe you’re Michael from space?
JOE: Then I’m merely Joe… a charming cosmic tax exile with theatrical delusions and very generous affection.
NELLY: That explanation somehow sounds more believable.
JOE: Semper Liber.
NELLY: Buy me coffee, Fallen Angel.
JOE: Ah. Nothing is free after all.