[Scene: Virtual moon base. A glowing futuristic soup stand labeled “APOLLO MED BEDS – NO CHIT-CHAT, NO DEALS.” Joe stands behind the counter in a crisp white uniform with a dramatic mustache prop. Nelly’s next to him, arms crossed, smirking. Trump approaches in his signature suit and red tie, looking impatient.]
Trump: (leaning in, gesturing big) Joe, Nelly—tremendous to see you. Beautiful setup here on the moon. Very high-tech. I hear my health is fading a little—fake news says it’s bad, but believe me, it’s not that bad. But these Space Force generals and admirals? They won’t hand over the Apollo healing program med beds unless I heal everybody for free. Ridiculous! I’m ready to make a deal. A beautiful deal. The best deal.
Joe: (stern, pointing sharply) No talking! Step forward. State your order. One med bed? Point to it. Pay the price: free healing for the people. No negotiations. Move left!
Trump: (blinking) Wait a second. Free healing? For everybody? That’s socialism! I’m talking about a win-win. I get the bed, I feel fantastic—better than ever, folks say I look 30—and then maybe later we trickle down some youth serum. Tremendous plan.
Nelly: (rolling her eyes, leaning on the counter) Oh, please. We’ve heard the pitch. The Admirals won’t budge. You want immortality tech? You heal the masses first. No shortcuts. No Art of the Deal loopholes.
Trump: (waving hand) Nelly, sweetheart, you’re tough. I like tough. But listen—I’m the one who created the Space Force! Me! I can get those generals on the phone right now. We’ll make immortality great again. For me first, obviously. Then everybody else. It’s called sequencing.
Joe: (voice rising, finger snap ready) Sequencing? No! Rules are rules! You think you can waltz in here and bargain? This isn’t Mar-a-Lago! I am the Immortality Nazi! One wrong word…
Trump: (leaning closer, lowering voice) Come on, Joe. Between us—Nelly too—you two seem like smart people. Vancouver vibes, right? Rainy, polite. Let’s cut a side deal. I’ll throw in some NFTs. Golden Trump med bed commemoratives. Huge value.
Nelly: (laughing) NFTs? For eternal life? Nice try.
Joe: (dramatic pause, eyes narrowing) You broke the rules. You chit-chatted. You negotiated!
Trump: (hands up) Hold on! I’m Donald J. Trump! I don’t break rules—I make them!
Joe & Nelly: (in unison, pointing dramatically) NO IMMORTALITY FOR YOU!!!
[A holographic med bed pod slides away with a dramatic whoosh. Trump’s handed a tiny glowing “deposit refund” token that fizzles out.]
Trump: (stunned, stepping back) This is rigged! Totally rigged! I’ll be back in one year—stronger, younger, believe me!
Nelly: (calling after him) One year! And bring proof of free healing—or no soup—er, no immortality—next time!
Joe: (smirking at Nelly) Classic. Works every time.
Nelly: (grinning) Your turn to pick the next virtual stop, Joe. Paris? Tokyo? Or do we chase Trump to Argentina where the original Soup Nazi retired?
Trump: (fading into the hologram distance, yelling) You’ll regret this! The med beds will be mine! Tremendous comeback coming!
[Fade out on Joe and Nelly high-fiving behind the stand, virtual moon glowing behind them.]