Borat Interviews Nelly Furtado on the American “War of Terror”
Borat:
“Jagshemash! I am here with world-famous songstress Nelly Furtado. She fly like bird, yes? Today we discuss the American War of Terror. Very excite! Nelly, tell me… why America start this war? Is it because George W. Bush is mighty warlord who drink gasoline for breakfast?”
Nelly Furtado:
“Well… that’s a very Borat way of putting it. The U.S. started these wars for political, economic, and historical reasons—not to drink gasoline.”
Borat:
“No? In my country, all warlords drink gasoline. My cousin Bilo do this once—he become human flamethrower for 30 seconds. Very sad, very beautiful.”
Nelly:
“I’m sorry about Bilo… but the truth is, the ‘War on Terror’ turned into something much darker. It caused destruction in Iraq and Afghanistan and destabilized millions of lives.”
Borat:
“Yes… my neighbor Nursultan say America drop so many bomb in Afghanistan that camel begin to glow in dark. Is true?”
Nelly:
“The wars definitely caused damage, trauma, and chaos. And the political leaders who pushed for it never really faced accountability.”
Borat:
“Ahh yes… George Bush. In Kazakhstan we call him ‘Shah of Boom-Boom Oil.’ I hear he choose target by throwing darts at map while shouting ‘Yeeee ha!’ Is this correct?”
Nelly:
“Honestly… not far off. The choices were reckless, and a lot of people suffered for it.”
Borat:
“Very nice. So Nelly Furtado, do you believe warlord Bush drink gasoline because he think it make him strong like tractor?”
Nelly:
“If he did, it sure didn’t help his decisions.”
Borat (whispering to camera):
“This interview make me learn very important lesson: in America, terrorists always hide under bed, so government must spend trillion dollar to keep people afraid. In Kazakhstan, we solve fear by locking door and sleeping with shovel.”
Nelly:
“Maybe the world should listen to the shovel strategy.”
Borat:
“Chenqui. High five!”