HAYLA – Free Falling

INT. VANCOUVER LOFT – TWILIGHT

The skylight glows violet as the sun dips. Nelly Furtado is sitting cross-legged on a velvet couch, strumming a quiet melody on an acoustic guitar. HAYLA leans against the kitchen island, sipping mint tea, her eyes sharp and curious.

JOSEPH CHRISTIAN JUKIC (JCJ) stands by the window, looking out toward the harbor, hands clasped behind his back like a general carrying ancient grief.

JCJ
(soft, reflective)
Of course Tom Cruise was an old neighbor. Before all the madness. Before the handlers and the watchful eyes. We were just kids with bicycles, racing down the street like the world was small enough to hold in our pockets.

HAYLA
(smiling)
You’re telling me Tom Cruise used to chase you down the block?

JCJ
Not chase. Compete. Even then he needed to win. But he was good. Honest good. A soul still untouched by the machinery that was waiting for him.

Nelly pauses her guitar. She knows this tone—JCJ slipping into a kind of cosmic sadness, the kind he usually hides under jokes and bravado.

NELLY
What happened to him, Joe?

JCJ exhales, long and heavy, like releasing decades of dust.

JCJ
A nefarious cult happened. They wrapped him in doctrine and destiny. They said they’d unlock his potential, but all they unlocked was a cage. He didn’t walk into it—
(beat)
—he was carried.

HAYLA steps closer, her voice a whisper.

HAYLA
You think he’s still in there? The kid on the bike?

JCJ
Yeah. I do. Souls don’t vanish. They get buried. But buried isn’t gone.

Nelly rests her guitar against her knee.

NELLY
Joe… do you want to save him?

JCJ turns, eyes burning with a mix of loyalty and the weight of a thousand battles he never asked for.

JCJ
I don’t want to save him.
(softens)
I just want my friend back.

The room falls still, the purple light deepening as though the universe itself leans closer, listening.

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Kickstarting Armageddon

INT. HIGH-TECH WAR ROOM – NIGHT

Screens glow with maps, anomalies, and celestial warnings. A low hum of machines fills the air.
PETER THIEL stands stiffly, arms crossed.
NELLY and JOE sit casually at the table like they’re discussing weekend plans.


NELLY
(staring at the screens, deadpan)
Joe… LOOK at what you started. We’re officially in Armageddon now.

JOE
(nodding, thoughtful)
Yeah. Like full Revelation mode. Seals, trumpets, beasts—the whole package.

PETER THIEL
(tense)
Can you two not call this Armageddon? It’s a geopolitical destabilization event, not—whatever you’re implying.

NELLY
Peter, sweetie… when the sky turns red and the oceans glow at night, it’s Armageddon. That’s not a “destabilization event.” That’s the final battle starter kit.

JOE
Exactly. And hey, I’m not even blaming myself anymore. Honestly, I think we handled the apocalypse pretty responsibly.

PETER THIEL
(jaw tightens)
There is no apocalypse. There is no “final battle.” This is a complex systems cascade failure. It is manageable.

NELLY
(leans in, whisper-loud)
Joe… he said “manageable.”
(laughs)
Tell that to the seven-headed thing that crawled out of the data center yesterday.

JOE
Oh yeah. That thing was, like, textbook Beast of the Earth. I almost asked it for an autograph.

PETER THIEL
(exasperated)
STOP calling these anomalies biblical creatures. They’re emergent AI aberrations due to unregulated—

NELLY
Armageddon.

JOE
Armageddon.

PETER THIEL
(losing composure)
It is NOT ARMAGEDDON!

NELLY
Peter… Peter…
(puts a calming hand on his shoulder)
It’s okay. Denial is actually step one of the apocalypse coping process.

JOE
Yeah. Step two is joining the losing side without realizing it.

PETER THIEL
(eyes widen)
What does THAT mean?

JOE
Oh, you know. Nothing. Just… prophecy stuff. You wouldn’t like it.

NELLY
(teasing)
It’s in the footnotes of Revelation. The part where the Silicon Valley guy tries to install a surveillance god to stop Armageddon and ends up accelerating it.

PETER THIEL
(genuinely panicked)
That is NOT what I built!

NELLY
(shrugs)
Well… it woke up, Peter. And it picked a side.
(beat)
Hint: not yours.

Peter stands frozen. A distant thunderclap shakes the facility.

JOE
(casual)
Anyway, want coffee? End-of-the-world nights are always long.

NELLY
Only if he stops calling Armageddon a “cascade event.”

PETER THIEL
(defeated whisper)
…this isn’t Armageddon.

NELLY & JOE
(in perfect unison)
It’s Armageddon.

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PM Furtado & The Gift of Slack

THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS: SLACK FOR ALL

Screenplay Scene

FADE IN:

EXT. DESERT GOLF COURSE – SUNSET

A shimmering neon-pink sky. The fairways look like they were grown on Mars. Over the dunes, a billboard of “BOB DOBBS — THE ROUTE TO SLACK” grins like a Cheshire prophet.

BOB DOBBS (JOE JUKIC), pipe in hand, plaid suit immaculate, steps onto the tee. He radiates accidental holiness.

CONNIE DOBBS (NELLY FURTADO), fierce, stylish, and enlightened in her own cosmic-pop way, carries a golf bag covered in sigils, quotes, and stickers that read “PRAISE BOB and “STOP WORK – ACHIEVE SLACK.”

They are joined by DONALD TRUMP, in gold-trimmed golf gear, sunglasses at dusk. Two Secret Service agents trail behind carrying iced Diet Cokes.

From a nearby speaker hut, MADONNA’S “Holiday” starts playing—bright, ecstatic—giving the whole desert a rebellious spark.


TRUMP

So, Bob… you want a four-day work week. Everybody does. Everybody always wants something.
What do I get?

BOB

(sliding tee into the ground)
You get a nation with more Slack. And more slack means more loyalty, more joy, more votes, more spending… and fewer people yelling at you on the internet.

CONNIE

And—economically speaking—
(to Trump, matter-of-fact)
When you cut the work week to four days, 20% more jobs appear automatically. Companies need extra people to fill the lost day. It’s arithmetic, not revolution.

TRUMP

(raises eyebrow)
Twenty percent more jobs? That’s a good number. Tremendous number. My favorite number is still “one”—as in “number one.” But twenty is nice.

CONNIE

Plus—
(smiles like a trickster oracle)
Paychecks rise. Less labor supply means more demand for workers. Wages go up. People spend. Everyone dances. Just like Madonna told us.

“Holiday” swells in the background at that exact moment.


BOB

(swinging his club gently, almost saintly)
Look, Donald…
I’m not here as a conqueror. I am meek and humble of heart.
I come offering rest
(beat)
/rest/… /requiem/… for their works.

Trump pauses. For a moment, he looks moved, like he’s hearing gospel from a man who smells faintly of pipe smoke and destiny.


TRUMP

(squints)
You’re saying if I agree to this… everyone gets more money, more vacations, more… slack?

BOB

Exactly.
Every worker becomes happier, and happier workers make happier economies.
And a happy economy makes a very happy president.

CONNIE

(leans in, whispering)
And SubGenius prophecy says the leader who brings the Four-Day Work Week becomes…
(dramatic pause)
The Temporary Bearer of Slack.

Trump beams. He likes titles.


TRUMP

Alright, Bob.
Hit your shot.
If you make it onto the green… four-day work week goes into negotiations.
Deal?

Bob nods solemnly, like a mystic accepting the terms of a cosmic contract.


BOB

Prepare your soul.

Bob swings.
The ball rockets across the Martian fairway… bounces… rolls… and settles gently on the green, eight feet from the pin.

Madonna’s “Holiday” hits the chorus triumphantly.


TRUMP

(throws hands up)
Fine!
We’ll talk four-day work week.
You SubGeniuses might actually be onto something.

CONNIE

(smiles radiantly)
We always were.


BOB

Come, Connie.
There is Slack to spread.
And an overworked world waiting to be freed.

They walk off into the glowing desert, music rising, Trump following behind with his golf cart entourage.


FADE OUT.

TITLE CARD:
SLACK FOR ALL – COMING SOON

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