Just Another Scam

Joe and Nelly sit in front of a laptop reading comments from the internet.

Joe sighs.

โ€œLook at this, Nelly. The audience thinks weโ€™re just another scam. Another hustle.โ€

Nelly raises an eyebrow. โ€œA scam? After all this?โ€

Joe scrolls.

โ€œListen to this one. โ€˜Look at Matt Damon. Heโ€™s just another common thief.โ€™โ€

Nelly laughs. โ€œTheyโ€™re calling Bourne a thief now?โ€

Joe throws his hands up.

โ€œEven Jason Bourne! The worldโ€™s greatest CIA super-spy, hunted across Europe, saving the day. And the guy playing him is getting paid twenty million dollars to pretend he knows kung fu.โ€

Nelly smirks. โ€œDonโ€™t forget the genius.โ€

Joe nods dramatically.

โ€œRight! The smartest mathematician in the world. The prodigy from Good Will Hunting solving equations nobody else can solve.โ€

He points at the screen again.

โ€œAnd the mathematician is stillโ€ฆ Matt Damon.โ€

Nelly leans back in her chair.

โ€œSo what are the critics saying, Joe?โ€

Joe shrugs.

โ€œThey say if Matt Damon is such a genius, such a super-agent, such a heroโ€ฆ maybe he should get a real job instead of being paid outrageous sums pretending he is one.โ€

Nelly laughs.

โ€œCareful, Joe. Hollywood might send Bourne after you.โ€

Joe shakes his head.

โ€œIf Bourne shows up, Iโ€™ll give him a keyboard and say, โ€˜Okay genius, solve the debt crisis.โ€™ Then weโ€™ll see who the real mathematician is.โ€

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Yugo Joe

Forget any of this happened. Stay away from people like me.

One Reply to “Just Another Scam”

  1. Joe and Nelly sit in a quiet room after the lights and cheers of a charity event have faded.

    Nelly looks tired, staring at an old poster from WE Charity and the massive youth rallies of WE Day.

    Nelly sighs.

    โ€œJoeโ€ฆ you know what the Bible says?โ€ she asks quietly.
    โ€œโ€˜All men are liars.โ€™ Thatโ€™s Book of Psalms 116:11.โ€

    Joe raises an eyebrow. โ€œThatโ€™s a pretty dark verse to quote after a charity show.โ€

    Nelly shakes her head.

    โ€œI believed them. I stood on those stages telling kids we were changing the world. I even gave a million dollars awayโ€ฆ trying to do the right thing.โ€

    Joe leans back.

    โ€œYou mean when you donated the money from that concert for Muammar Gaddafi?โ€

    Nelly nods.

    โ€œI thought if I gave it to Free the Children it would help kids. Schools, clean water, all that.โ€
    She gestures at the poster again.

    โ€œBut then the scandals came. Investigations. Politicians fighting over the charity. Suddenly everyone looked like they were getting rich while the kids were justโ€ฆ the marketing.โ€

    Joe smirks a little.

    โ€œThatโ€™s the celebrity charity machine. Stadium lights, big speeches, cameras everywhere. Makes everyone feel like a hero.โ€

    Nelly folds her arms.

    โ€œYeahโ€ฆ but the Psalm was right. You trust the wrong people and you start wondering if the whole thing was just another show.โ€

    Joe shrugs.

    โ€œMaybe the problem isnโ€™t charity,โ€ he says. โ€œMaybe the problem is when charity turns into a brand.โ€

    Nelly looks at the empty stage through the window.

    โ€œThe kids deserved better than a brand, Joe.โ€

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